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How many times have you said to yourself that you really want to “stop this or that bad habit” or “I really need to start ______.” How many times after you’ve declared that this is your goal has the attempt at accomplishing the goal fallen flat? This is a very frustrating cycle indeed.
With this post I intend to expose the science behind habits and how to attack your goal from a behavioral angle so that each step or step backwards can be understood and used for growth!
What Are Habits Exactly...?
The science of habits is a happy marriage of several sciences from what I’ve learned. Our habits are an accumulation of repeated actions that have been established because the consequence of our behaviors have been satisfying in some way. This also involves neurology. I NEVER thought to consider the neurological processes behind our behaviors and habit creation but I’ve come to find that it’s not as complicated as it sounds. I’m a behavior analyst not a neurologist! But finding out more about neurology has opened my eyes to what we’re facing when we’re trying to either create new and healthy habits or trying to break unhealthy and harmful habits.
How Habits Are Created
Not to be redundant but let me repeat myself to ensure that I’m getting my point across. A habit is created because we’ve engaged in a behavior that has led to a consequence that “solved a problem.” This habit typically is NOT created after the first experience. Often, it is created after repeated exposure to that satisfying consequence. Little neurology fact here as well: when we repeat a behavior over and over and it leads to a satisfying consequence, we are also creating a neural pathway in our brains! The more we engage in a behavior, the stronger the neural pathway and, therefore, the stronger the behavior pattern. On the flip side, the LESS we engage in a behavior pattern, the weaker the neural pathway. This is comparable to a hiking trail. The more the trail is used the easier it is to go down that path. The less the path is used the more overgrown and difficult to travel it becomes.
So! Once you’ve engaged in a behavior over and over (a pattern) and this behavior leads to a satisfying consequence, you’ve created a habit and a strong neural pathway.
Pep Talk!
Great news! You’re in total control! It doesn’t feel like it at times, but you are. Motivation really comes into play here and choosing who you want to identify as. Do you want to be able to say “I’m a health conscious person?” Do you want to be able to say “I’m good at implementing stress management techniques?” Choose who you want to be and then let that identity guide your values and, as a result, highlight behaviors that you want to change so that your behaviors match your values and identity. For example, I want to be able to say I drink very little or not often because I’m a health conscious person. This statement helps me to choose behaviors that align with that identity and those values. Also being willing to fall and get back up. When we’re attempting to change a habit it’s important to practice self-compassion. It’s also important to see goals as experiments. And to, literally, see how often we engage in a behavior. Taking data on your behaviors SOUNDS above and beyond but we already do it all the time. A lot of us use a smart watch, track behaviors on our phones, use fitness apps for either exercise OR food/drink intake and so on. There are simpler and more engaged ways to track our behaviors though. This topic can segway us into…
Taking Baseline Data On Ourselves
What the heck is baseline data? Well, it’s data on the frequency or duration of a behavior as it’s happening currently. WITH THIS information we can track either an increase or a decrease in the amount that we engage in this behavior AFTER we start to attempt to change the behavior. And finally…
Under What Circumstances Does This Behavior Happen?
Ok here’s the juicy bit! We engage in a behavior ONLY WHEN certain circumstances are in place. FIRST the motivation must be there. Then the cue that the satisfying event will take place has to be present. So, if we know this information, we can manipulate circumstances that may lead us to engage in the problem behavior or desired behavior.
One last thing: You can’t simply NOT have a problem behavior anymore. You MUST have an alternative behavior that serves the same purpose as the problem behavior. I’ll explain more in my demonstration.
I’d like to visually demonstrate both how to increase the likelihood of engaging in a behavior AND decrease the likelihood of engaging in a behavior.
My Real-Life Example
Over the years I’ve wanted to decrease my drinking. In the last 4 years my drinking was OK but I wanted to either drink barely ever or take weeks off of drinking. If you had told my past self that I accomplished this goal my eyes would have bugged out. If you’d like to read my story, read this post.
Anyways, here’s how I did it.
Full disclosure, I chemically broke the habit with a pill I ASKED my doctor to prescribe to me BUT only used this pill for two days. The rest was me changing my mindset and habits.
I chose to decrease a behavior: Drinking alcohol.
My baseline: 3 glasses of wine (almost a bottle!) 3 nights out of the week.
My circumstances or cues: It had to be on a Friday, Saturday and Sunday at home with bottles of wine available.
My motivators: My state of mind was reliably either stressed out or I was “bored” because I didn’t know how to just “be” without alcohol on these days. So, I wanted to de-stress and “make” my own fun.
My Goal: Drink 1 per weekend day or less and/or take a week or more off of drinking here and there.
My alternative behaviors or behaviors that would replace drinking:
- Drinking tea
- Dancing to very loud music with my toddlers
- JUST sitting and being mindful with my kids while they played either together or with me.
- Taking a break from the demands of being a mom to two little tots by both putting them on electronics and putting myself on an electronic
One last thing that I did that I feel I should mention at this point in the post IS I demonized drinking in my mind which was very easy to do. If you’re looking to do this for yourself regarding drinking alcohol, then read This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, by Annie Grace. A Brilliant author and book!
Here’s a list of how I did it.
- I already had SO MUCH resentment towards all the bad feelings that came after a night of binge drinking that I had done in my late teens and all of my 20s.
- I had an even more recent gathering of resentful feelings toward drinking even just a small amount of alcohol because it took away from my deep sleep and, therefore, my energy to be an energized mother for my tots.
- I read BOOKS on sobriety (SO INFORMATIVE!)
- I read blog posts and books on what alcohol does to your ENTIRE body and brain.
- I reminded myself regularly of how drinking alcohol DOES NOT match my identity of being a healthy person and the values I have that include treating my body with respect.
With this tool kit I have created for myself I now manage to drink 1 drink during an outing (never at home) each weekend. Just ONE. I’ve never been happier in my adult life. I trust myself again!
Onto! Increasing Good Habits
While I decreased my drinking, I increased my frequency of exercise. I’ll list my reason in my motivator description but in this paragraph, I’d like to take the chance to explain more. By the time I wanted to cut way back on drinking I had gained weight, felt bloated and stuck and, therefore, frustrated, and angry. I had a beautifully clean diet and exercised 3 solid times a week without fail. Why the hell was I still tired and bloated? And why did my weight continue to sneak up? ALCOHOL! So, to both help with my cutting way back on drinking AND to help myself to feel stronger and better about myself I added TWO sessions of exercise per week to my existing 3 sessions. This meant I exercised 5 times a week which sounds like A LOT, but it really wasn’t. Read on my friend.
It was easy to add the extra sessions onto my 3 existing sessions for the following reasons:
- I had more energy WITHOUT the consistent intake of almost a bottle of wine 3 nights a week.
- Without alcohol hindering my abilities, windows of time to allow for exercise opened.
- The extra sessions started out as 10–15-minute runs. So easy to fit in timewise.
So, adding the extra exercise sessions in wasn’t as hard as it sounds. James Clear, the brilliant mind behind the book, Atomic Habits, By James Clear, has 4 “laws” that he deems necessary to create a new habit and behaviorism agrees with him.
- Make it obvious (I started to schedule times for my additional exercise sessions, so it was obvious when it was “time” to exercise)
- Make it attractive (my husband also exercises 5 times a week, so I was among supportive company)
- Make it easy (I started out with running (even though I don’t really LOVE running) because it’s so easy to pop outside, run a bit, and come back in)
- Make it satisfying (the runner’s high and my respect for myself was my satisfaction. You could also write it down on a calendar that you’ve completed your behavior and smile while you do it!)
Let me translate James Clear’s laws into the perspective of a behavior analyst. There will be a future post on these behavior modification methods very soon readers!
- Make the cues that a new habit should take place obvious. Post Its with prompts to exercise on them or declarations on the specific goal. Reminders on your phone!
- Attach the new habit to a fun behavior (chaining) or use the “First__Then___.” method (pre-Mack principle). Make it a habit to exercise before your morning shower on Saturdays (connect your exercise to a fixed daily activity) OR “First I will run and then I’ll go get myself an iced coffee” (a less preferred behavior will happen before a more preferred behavior can happen)
- Start your new habit at its smallest increment. For example, I jogged for 1 minute and then walked for 10 minutes (shaping behavior). Next time you exercise, add 1 minute of jogging so that you’ve jogged for 2 minutes out of the 10-minutes allotted.
- Choose an immediate reinforcer (something pleasing) for yourself after the habit has been completed. The reward can be to check off that you accomplished your daily goal on a calendar or texting a friend a picture of your salad or your sweaty face! Anything that acts as a pat on the back to yourself.
My Real Life Example
Here’s how I would fill out my info on the behavior I wanted to increase:
I chose to increase a behavior: Exercising.
My baseline: 3 exercise sessions a week. Once on Tuesday and Thursday and then once more on either Saturday or Sunday.
My circumstances or cues: Again, my cues were that the time had arrived that my kiddos were in school, and I had the free time to exercise
My motivators: To have endorphins rush into my brain (from the exercise), to feel strong and fit, and fill up my time with healthy activities because NOW I could (without alcohol in my way).
What behavior modification methods did I use?
Shaping (I started out adding 2 very short, 15-minute runs to my 3 work sessions). I also used the pre-Mack principle (I added one workout to my Sunday morning before I did anything else that day. So, it looked like this “First I run then I’ll get on with everything enjoyable for the day.”)
What does it look like now? I don’t run anymore 😊 I use work videos so that I can complete 20-minute cardio sessions indoors. These “easy” and “short” exercise sessions are usually the way I start out my week and end my week. Since I’ve cut back on my drinking over 6 months ago, I’ve consistently worked out 5 days a week with the exception of 1 or 2 weeks.
*Tip* If you run into a barrier then identify it, figure out a way to change it so it’s not a barrier anymore! If you don’t engage in your behavior as intended or don’t do it at all DON’T take it as an opportunity to quit. Just get back up and try again.
I sure hope this post served as an example of how you can change your behavior and, maybe just maybe, as an inspiration! I’d like to add that these changes in my behavior took some WORK and PENT-UP motivation. It wasn’t easy and there have been struggles along the way but that is life and life is all encompassing!
What behavior do you have your eye on for change? What behavior modification methods might you find useful to change these behaviors?